Bishops Say The Craziest Things

a Reflection on USCCB General Assembly 2019 June

Hating on the bishops is the latest fad on Twitter.

I can understand why. The latest sexual abuse scandal has broken everyone’s trust. I feel like the bishops are out of touch. I feel it especially when they tweet out:

Problem with Bishops’ Statement

At first glance, I did not think much of the question. Yet I could not let it go. The problem is that everyone should have the same answer as Simon Peter

” Jesus said to the twelve, “will you also go away? Simon Peter answered him, Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of everlasting life, and we believe and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:67-68a RSV Second Catholic Edition

I stay not because the homily is good or because the music moves me. Faith formation programs while important are not the reason I stay. Rather I stay because somewhere along the way, I became convinced that the church through Jesus had the word of everlasting life.

Problem With Communication

Bishop Barron’s solution

I stay because the Catholic Church is the truth. Perhaps then people leave because the truth is poorly communicated.

Bishop Barron seems to think so. Twitter criticized Bishop Barron for suggesting that the church imitate the style of Dr. Jordan B Peterson.

Now I had never heard of this guy. A quick google search reveals that he is a psychologist with moderate political videos.

He is not a devout Catholic. If anything, he flirts with Christian morality when it fits his agenda.

To be fair, Bishop Barron did say to imitate the style of and not the substance. But why? Christianity should be all about proclaiming the truth.

Yet people join the ranks of the religious unaffiliated not out of ignorance, but out of lack of relevance.

Parish’s Disfunction

I don’t want apologetics!

I want community.

Thus the below tweet intrigues me.

_

Is USCCB right? Are parishes dysfunctional?

Yes and no.

First, we need to understand what a parish is.

I have written about parishes before. In that post, I said, “I think most Catholics leave, not because protestant services are more entertaining or because they don’t understand the Eucharist, but because it’s easier to feel like you belong.”

I stand by that statement. Most parishes are awful at fostering that sense of belonging. Furthermore, parishes have no incentive to foster belonging. A parish receives its authority based on geography. That’s a shame for all those people driving 20 or more minutes away.

This also explains the Latin Mass phenomenon. Despite what your Trad friend would love to brag. The Latin Mass feels like a community because it groups together like-minded people. It has nothing to do with pre-Vatican II Liturgy.

Bishops so close, but not exactly

So I do agree parishes don’t work. Yet parishes don’t work, not because younger people migrate. Rather they never found that authentic community. Most of what parishes offer appears inflexible and unwelcoming. Most people do not know anyone’s name or notice when they don’t attend.

So we should do away with the parish right?

Rather I think a change of attitude is in order. Parishes are not merely places to procure the sacraments. They become places where the community is found. After all, when two or three is gathered in Jesus’s name, he promises to be there.

Interested in learning more? I’ve written on how to foster community and still stay reverent here

Psalm 139, Politics and Pride

I never thought of Pride Parades when thinking about Psalm 139:14

Psalm 139:13-14 happens to be my favorite scripture passage.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

Psalm 139 reminds me of my identity in God. Often I’m tempted to identify myself as something other than a child of God.

Sometimes I am the helpless girl in a wheelchair.

In those times I recite Psalm 139. It reminds me that I am wonderfully made by God my father.

That was true until I heard about the controversy.

David Haas and Psalm 139

I have an embarrassing confession.

I like David Haas’s music.

My traditional Catholic friends can laugh, but David Haas made Catholic hymns accessible to me.

My love for David Haas music began with the song You are Called.

You see, I remembered You Are Called as my favorite childhood hymn. I decided to look into the composer.

That is when I discovered, With You By My Side.

This glorious hymn even has as an electric guitar solo.

Obviously, my taste and criteria for a good hymn have changed. Yet I still have a soft spot for David Haas music.

David Haas disappointed me!

David Haas, according to HuffPost, created a song based on Psalm 139:14 called You’ve Made Me Wonderful.

Cool, I thought to myself, until I read, David Haas dedicates this song to the LGBT and those celebrating pride.

Ouch, I have whiplash from the way the Catholic Church has treated LGBT over the years.

In 2017, Chicago diocese withheld funeral rites to those in open relationships.

In 2019, we have Catholic music composers dedicating hymns to the LGBTQ

All the while, faithful Catholics are confused about how to respond.

Not very universal for a supposed universal church.

My main point is that we need to not be afraid to stand for truth.

Psalm 139 is proclaiming the truth that all humans are wonderful and full of dignity and that God can be found everywhere.

Let’s stand on that, no political pandering necessary.

Misogynistic Attitudes in the Catholic Church

Stop me if you’ve heard this before, “the church is misogynistic.” It treats women differently. It sees women as nothing more than baby incubators.

As a woman, who hopes to work in ministry, I see more men than women leaders. A look at the top Catholic apologetics proves my point; they are all men for the most part.

Yet it has not always been that way.

I remember being challenged and intrigued by St Teresa of Avila’s Interior Castle. Thus, I believe the church as always given a voice to women in ministry. It’s not always single women either. In fact, my confirmation saint, Elizabeth Seton, was a mother and widow before founding the sisters of charity. She founded the first Catholic free school in America. Oh, and I can’t forget that she was a convert like me.

So there has been and always will be a bunch of amazing Catholic women in the church. So where is this supposed misogynistic attitude coming from?

Confronting Misogynistic Attitudes

So I am facebook friends with this guy, who created a facebook group for Catholic converts. We agree on almost everything except women in ministry. He argues that women cannot teach men. Respectfully I believe this is a misinterpretation of St Paul.

Is St Paul Misogynistic?

A lot of liberal progressive Christian’s dismiss the writings of St. Paul. They claim that his opinion regarding women reflects a misogynistic culture. Yet everyone is cool with St. Paul when he writes,

”There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

Basically, you can’t agree with St Paul only when he says things you agree with and only claim cultural misogyny when you disagree. Instead, let’s look at some conflicting passages.

St Paul’s writings

” Women should keep silent in the churches, for they are not allowed to speak, but should be subordinate, as even the law says. But if they want to learn anything, they should ask their husbands at home. For it is improper for a woman to speak in the church. Did the word of God go forth from you? Or has it come to you alone?” 1st Corinthians 14:34

Ok, this looks bad in modern society.

How can a person say that men and women are one under Christ and demand silence? Furthermore, St Paul contradicts himself in the same letter.

1st Corinthians 11:5, “But any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled brings shame upon her head, for it is one and the same thing as if she had had her head shaved”

If women are to be kept silent, then why are they praying and prophesying out loud to God. Has St. Paul gone crazy?

No, of course not.

1st Corinthians 14:34 refers to certain duties such as giving homilies. Women were not to speak within sacred structured worship. Rather a male clergy was commissioned to preach and teach. This is true of Jewish synagogues and is also true of the early church.

Modern Day Catholic Church: Still Misogynistic?

Catechism on Women

When I began writing this, I wanted to know what the Catechism said about women’s role in the church.

Surprisingly I didn’t find much.

Man and woman have been created, which is to say, willed by God: on the one hand, in perfect equality as human persons; on the other, in their respective beings as man and woman. “Being a man” or “being a woman” is a reality which is good and willed by God: man and woman possess an inalienable dignity which comes to them immediately from God their Creator.240 Man and woman are both with one and the same dignity “in the image of God”. In their “being-man” and “being-woman”, they reflect the Creator’s wisdom and goodness. (CCC 369)

So there is just one paragraph on men and women’s roles. The Catechism emphasizes the shared dignity of both men and women. Yet, it also stresses the being a man or being a woman is willed by God. This seems to imply an inherent difference.

Code of Canon Law: Women

According to the 1917 Code of Canon law and the 1912 encyclopedia article, women were not capable of receiving sacred orders. Thus, women were forbidden from ministering at the altar.

In religious and moral matters, the common obligations and responsibilities of men and women are the same. There is not one law for a man and another for a woman, and in this, of course, the canons follow the teachings of Christ. Women, however, are not capable of certain functions pertaining to religion.

I will address why women are not capable of sacred orders in my next blog post. For now, let’s accept that as a valid claim. Yet women do serve the altar in most modern masses. How is that possible?

Enter Code of canon law of 1983.

Canon law 230 section 2 is the problem. It states that both male and females can serve as liturgical functions on a temporary basis.

Since section 2 does not specify gender; it is okay for females to be altar servers on a volunteer basis.

In traditional Catholicism, altar servers were considered to be a minor religious order required in order to be a priest. Now they are on a volunteer basis.

Future of the Catholic Church

I live in a world where women pretend to be like men to survive. Thus, it can seem wrong to claim that men and women are made differently. It can seem wrong that men may be better at something. So when the church yet again stops women from serving, the world will cry out that the church is misogynistic. Yet we faithful Catholics know the truth. We know that we have a special role to play beyond the altar.

To learn more about amazing women doctors of the church,
check out this article here

wear, clothes

What Not to Wear: Mass Edition

Growing up I loved the show What Not to Wear on TLC. I loved seeing people get an updated more modern and sophisticated look.

In my own life, I like to dress up. I am not a girly girl by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t go out of the house in sweat pants. I always dress up for Mass.

Although I must confess that I’ve worn jeans to mass before.

I didn’t think what I wore to Mass was such a contentious topic until I saw this tweet.

Dear Catholic men: Why are you wearing cargo shorts and flip-flops for Sunday Mass? You wouldn’t wear anything close to beachwear for a) a job interview, b) a wedding, or c) dinner with the Queen of England, and you know it.

Patrick Coffin’s point is that we should show respect because the king of the universe is present. Does God actually care what we wear? What does the Bible say about our clothing?

Old Testament Clothes

So the first mention of clothes occurs in Genesis chapter 3.

then the eyes of both were open and they knew they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons. Genesis 3:7

So in the garden, they were naked.

This represents innocence.

Yet when sin entered they wanted to cover up. They felt shame and guilt. This translated into being embarrassed about our bodies.

Yet our bodies are not shameful. Your body was created by God. In fact, God gives us clothes.

and the Lord God made for Adam and his wife garments of skin and clothed them. Genesis 3:21

God clothes Adam and Eve with garments of skin. The plants were not sufficient because their sin required a blood sacrifice. Thus, clothes function to hide our shame and guilt. God already knows what I have done. He knows our bodies. Thus clothes are for us. It is to protect us from being vulnerable.

So how does this affect the New Testament community?

The writings of St. Paul

After the gospels and book of Acts, there are the letters of St. Paul. Letters can be tricky. When I read the letter, I am reading the answer without knowing the context or question. Nevertheless, we know that the letter authors were writing to churches. They were correcting problems.

St. Paul had problems with the church of Corinth. Things were getting out of hand. Here’s what St Paul said about women’s attire in the church.

For if a woman does not have her head veiled, she may as well have her hair cut off. But if it is shameful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should wear a veil.

Don’t grab your hair veil just yet!

Paul is recognizing the fact that women are subordinate to men.

Now feminist, hear me out.

Paul absolutely believes that man and women are equal under God.

Yet he recognizes that women have a unique role and purpose. Our job is to be a helpmate to men. In Paul’s time, both men and women wore veils. Yet in the house of God, women should veil to show their unique relationship. Likewise in Paul’s time, having short hair associated you with a less honorable class of women such as prostitutes and lesbians.

Hence women should dress in accordance with their God-given role.

Paul elaborates on this in his letter to Timothy.

Similarly, too, women should adorn themselves with proper conduct, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hairstyles and gold ornaments, or pearls, or expensive clothes, but rather, as befits women who profess reverence for God, with good deeds. 1 Timothy 2:9

Paul does advise against braided hairstyles, gold ornaments, and expensive clothes. Yet his main goal is to emphasize modesty. Our reverence to God is shown not by being flashy, but by good works.

Take away

So the point is not so we can have an excuse to dress however we want. Our clothes do reflect our hearts. If we are respectful and reverent, we will put more effort into our appearance.

Yet this issue can’t fit in a 280 character tweet.

A person’s holiness is not measured by what they wear, but rather by what they do.

I think I’ll keep wearing my nice dark jeans and a nice modest top.

The Rosary Speaks: Are you listening?

I prayed the Rosary more as a non-catholic than as a Catholic.

As a non-catholic, I became fascinated by the rosary. I thought I could never recite 150 plus prayers. I also wondered how it was possible to memorize and recite at the same time.

Yet I decided to try.

Over time I really got into the mysteries. The Joyful and sorrowful stood out to me.

In the sorrowful mysteries, I felt that Christ understood my pain. As I meditated on Christ’s last days, I realized that Christ’s suffering was beyond anything I can comprehend. Yet not only did he have the patience to undergo those trials, but so did his mother.

Christ falls three times

When I imagine this scene, I imagine it from the perspective of Mary, Jesus’ mother.

I am not a mother.

Yet I have been an ill child in and out of hospitals. I have watched my mother, how she fought and cared for me. I can’t imagine what it’s like to not be able to do anything but watch.

Yet as Jesus falls, all Mary can do is watch in horror. What patience and faith Mary must have had to endure seeing her child in agony.

Thus the sorrowful mysteries help me be more patient when I face trials and I am in pain.

Finding Jesus in the Temple

I am a Catholic convert.

Thus, when I imagine Mary and Joseph looking for Jesus, I put it in the context of my own life.

I imagine Mary and Joseph looking everywhere for Jesus. They visit family members. They consult their friends. Finally, they go back. Into the temple, they enter to find Jesus. He wasn’t with family or friends, but he was found in the Fathers house.’

So many times I’ve looked for truth in other people’s opinions. Yet I couldn’t truly find truth or Jesus until I came back to the Church. Just like he was with Mary and Joseph in the temple, he is present in the tabernacle for us. If we want Jesus to speak to us, we need to go back to church, in front of the tabernacle, and listen to him teach us.

The mysteries speak to us. They speak to me. Only if I take my time and intentionally pray them.

Adoration with monstrance

Adoration is my favorite devotion, why?

Imagine a date with Jesus.

You get dress up because you want to look nice for the king. You arrive early because you don’t want to keep the king waiting. Sitting across from Jesus, you wonder what to say to the creator of the universe. All of a sudden, he speaks. He asks you, how are you doing? At first, you try to give a generic answer, but Jesus is having none of it. He wants the truth.

Through Eucharistic adoration, I’ve been on that date.

What is Adoration?

I began adoration at the 24-hour chapel. Admittedly I was nervous. Despite being an introvert, staying one hour in silence did not sound appealing. Yet I had wanted to challenge myself. In Matthew Kelly’s book, Rediscovering Catholicism, he challenges the reader to devote one hour to adoration.

Thus, it began as a challenge

Radical Encounter

It turned into a radical encounter with the Lord

And he came to his disciples and found them sleeping and he said to Peter, “So could you not watch with me for one hour? Watch and pray so that you may not fall into temptation; the spirit is willing but the flesh is indeed weak” Matthew 26:40-41

I have been tempted. I have heard the lies whispered in the shadows of the night.

Satan tells me that I am:

  • unworthy
  • unlovable
  • should be anxious about my future

Yet for the one hour in front of the blessed sacrament, I get to lay all of that down in front of the king of the universe. Jesus, who loves me, wants desperately to hear me and spend time with me. He tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

Jesus came so that you can have an abundant life. He doesn’t want you to fall into the lies of the evil one. I challenge you to spend one hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament weekly. Your life will be forever changed.

Easter Vigil: Why You Should Attend!

Imagine entering a pitch black sanctuary. The only light to guide you is the soft glow of a candle. Up ahead is the light of the Paschal candle. As you file into the sanctuary looking for your seat, you hear the priest chanting the Exulet:

This is the Easter Vigil.

It gives me goosebumps.

I love the setting and atmosphere. Thus, the Easter Vigil is my favorite liturgical service. I have other reasons for liking it too.

Old Testament References

The Easter vigil starts with The Exulet, which has the following line:

This is the night, when once you led our forebears, Israel’s children,

from slavery in Egypt and made them pass dry-shod through the Red Sea

Jesus’ death and resurrection did not happen in isolation. Rather God has always rescued his people. The references to the Old Testament continue throughout the night. It starts with the creation story in Genesis and ends with the crossing of the Red Sea in Exodus.

Thus, I am reminded that God can rescue me.

Symbolism is on Point

For starters, the paschal candle represents the light of Christ. We all receive this at baptism. When I carry my own candle into the sanctuary, I remember that the light of Christ is always with me.

One of my favorite moments is when the lights are turned on for the first time. I am reminded of how Christ can take away the darkness in my life. Christ’s resurrection offers hope.

Music

Music impacts my life and is a passion of mine. You can read what I’ve written about music here

In my apartment, there is an assortment of posters from all the concerts I have been to over the years. I’m always discovering new bands and artist. When I began to explore Christianity, it wasn’t well-reasoned arguments, but rather music that moved my soul.

The music of the Easter vigil moves my soul.

Not only is most of it beautiful, but it is also joyous.

I like to sing.

After every reading, there is an optional psalm to be sung. Hence, there is a lot more opportunity to sing.

Baptizing Adults

I am a convert to the Catholic faith. The struggles convert face is close to my heart. Thus, I like to support those entering into the Catholic faith. Seeing people receive baptism fills me with joy, It gives me hope for the Catholic Church.

Conclusion

I believe every Catholic should attend the Easter vigil at least once. It is a beautiful liturgy filled with meaning, symbolism, and great music. Yes, it is three hours long. Yes, it is late in the evening. Yet if you attend it will move your soul!

Lent- Transformation or diet plan?

Desert with sand dunes reminds me of Lent

As a young person, I gave up T.V. for Lent.

Yes, you read that correctly. As a twelve-year-old, I wanted to give up T.V. As a young person I believed wrongly that Lent was about giving up something. My twelve-year-old self thought that we earned God’s love through our Lenten sacrifice. My parents supported me. In fact, they liked it so much, the no T.V watching became the household norm.

I grew up.

As I re-entered the Catholic Church and matured in my faith, I began to see the real beauty of Lent. I have learned that Lent is much more than a diet plan. When approached correctly, it can radically change your life. I know that it has changed mine.

Purpose of Lent

Lent has a three-fold purpose: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. These practices help us empty ourselves so that we can be filled with God’s presence.

Prayer

Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is week Mathew 26:41

Every morning is a battle. The alarm goes off and I am faced with a choice: to snooze or not to snooze. My tired eyes beckon me to sleep for five more minutes. Yet my soul knows that those five minutes I could be spending with God. Jesus tells us that prayer protects us from temptation. In my life, I am tempted to fall into despair. In those moments I turn to the Divine Mercy prayer.

Eternal Father, whose mercy is endless and whose treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly on us and increase in us Your mercy, that in difficult moments, we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your most holy will, which is love and mercy itself.

Prayer has helped me fight my inner demons. Nowhere has this become more clear than during Lent. I discovered the Litany of Trust during the fourth week of Lent. I decided to pray it every day during Lent. Since then I have seen my confidence grow and God doing impossible things.

Fasting

I like food.

I am the worse when it comes to fasting. It seems like every Friday I get a craving for fried chicken. One time I had left my Friday holy hour hungry. I decided to go through KFC drive through because I could not wait. As soon as I had the food in my hands, I remembered that it was a day of absence from meat. I reluctantly ate it as to not waste food.

In my moments of weakness I recall Jesus’ example:

And he fasted for forty days and forty nights and afterward he was hungry. And the tempter came and said to him, “if you are the son of God command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But he answered, “it is written, man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Matthew 4:2-4

I know that if I was Jesus, I would have given into the devil’s demands. By forcing us to fast, Lent reminds us of our human weakness. Every time I’m tempted to snack on some crackers or gorge on fried chicken, I realize how much I need God’s grace.

Alms Giving

I am frugal with money.

I struggle with Works of Mercy because I keep to myself and help myself. God decided to shake me up. One Saturday after confession, the priest told me to do a random act of kindness as part of my penance. As someone, who keeps to themselves, this was completely out of my comfort zone. I agonized over the decision. Ultimately, I ended up buying a cup of coffee for someone in line behind me. God must have a sense of humor. It turns out that the people in line behind me were buying together. When the cashier asked me if I wanted to pay for both, I awkwardly said yes.

I’ll admit that it did feel good to buy them coffee. Ever since I have looked for ways to do random acts. I hope to one day get to the point where my Lenten sacrifice involves doing an act of kindness every day. Until then God has a lot of work to do.

Lent reimagined

Lent was never intended to be a self-improvement plan or a diet regimen. It transforms us by making us walk in Jesus’ footsteps. Like Jesus, we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us to the desert. We can be tempted by hunger, greed, or business, but we will not give in. Instead, we will find that we need God.

Nature is Ensouled: A Response

Nature: blue sky, grass, rocks

that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. 22We know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until the present time. Romans 8:22

I love Twitter.

Catholic twitter is regular twitter except for all the people you follow are Catholic. It is a happy place mostly. Occasionally you will get people riled up about something. I still have not forgotten the dancing priest outrage. Last month, an article, Nature Is Ensouled written by the Center for Action and Contemplation had people talking.

People were accusing Father Rohr of being heretical. Intrigued, I took a look. Skimming the article, my eyes fell on this statement,

I’m not saying God is all things (pantheism), but that each living thing reveals some aspect of God. God is both greater than the whole of our universe, and as Creator inter-penetrates all created things (panentheism). No exceptions.

Father Rohr seems to be suggesting Panentheism is compatible with Christianity. Now to the average person, what Father Rohr is saying may sound appealing even correct. I wasn’t so sure. Not satisfied I sought to research.

In my research, I learned that New Age focuses on harmony and communication with nature1. This sounds good on paper. Even I can understand the appeal. I have always felt that nature had a deep inner beauty.

I value knowledge.

Thus I understand the appeal of a lounging to discover some inner connectiveness. Yet there are three problems with this.

1. Relationships

The Christian God is relational. God wants a relationship. If Father Rohr is correct then I need to “discover the soul in other things to live in union with the source of all being.” 2 Yet discovering some hidden soul is completely opposite of Christian values. I don’t need to become one with nature, rather, I need a relationship with Jesus Christ.

2. Searching in vain

The Bible is just one big love letter from God. The stories in the Old and New Testament show how God is pursuing humanity. I typically don’t give into romantic sentiment. Yet I love the idea of being pursued by the Divine creator. I don’t get that with new age religion. Rather New Age teaches that I have to search for the divine.

3. Who is God?

I am made in God’s Image.

I have a rational soul.

God is my creator.

Ultimately. New Age Mysticism challenges me to define these three fundamental truths. Yes, both New Age and Christianity believe animals do have souls. The difference is a matter of degree. In Christianity, animals have material souls. These souls decay and die. Yet New Age insists that animals and God are intertwined 3.

It is so easy to fall into error. It is easy to be taken in by the longing for interconnectedness. I understand the appeal of wanting a deeper connection with the divine. Yet I would not trade in a relational deity for an impersonal essence. I am sad that an institution with Catholic roots would fall far from the truth. The earth’s redemption may come (Romans 8:22), but let us focus on growing deeper with Christ.

  1. https://www.allaboutspirituality.org/new-age.htm
  2. https://cac.org/nature-is-ensouled-2018-03-11/
  3. http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/interelg/documents/rc_pc_interelg_doc_20030203_new-age_en.html#1.4.%20The%20New%20Age%20and%20Catholic%20Faith

How to lead a small group

How to lead a small group

Introduction

Small groups are a relatively recent phenomenon in Catholic parishes. Yet in Protestant churches gathering in small groups are a normal occurrence. Parish renewal groups such as Rebuilt and Forming Intentional Disciplesemphasize small groups. They see small groups a way of establishing a community. I served on the board in charge of discussing small groups. This made me realize that Catholics don’t understand the point of small groups.

What are small groups

A small group consists of 6-10 people, who hold each other accountable. Here’s what a small group is not:

  • a bible study
  • a book club
  • a place to go deeper in theology

While I love all those activities, none of those actives by themselves make a small group. Rather, a small group shares life together. They usually began with a meal and prayer. After that, they have no real agenda. The group might do Lectio divina, or watch a video. You should get to the point where you do not need a program. A program should be a jumping off point for relational ministry. Getting through all the questions is not the goal of a small group.

I have been a small group leader for youth, young adults, and adults. I know a thing or two about leading small groups. Below are 5 tips for being a good small group leader.

Tips To Be A Small Group Leader

1. Same page

You want to make sure your leader and co-leader are on the same page. This means you need to talk about expectations. Questions that need to be discussed include:

  • will there be food and who’s bringing it
  • how often will we meet
  • what will we be discussing
  • will attendance be required

If the leaders are not on the same page, then the members will not know what to expect. Likewise, this makes members confused and less likely to come back.

2. Introduce People

Your job as facilitator is to help people enter into a relationship with each other. Thus, you need to facilitate interaction. The first couple of times you meet, you want to have a good ice breaker. Later on, you may want to collect birthdays and contact info. You can send encouragement and prayer to those you think might need it. You can encourage others to do the same.

3. Spiritual Introduction

We all come from different backgrounds, cultures, and ways of life. Some people in the group may have an active prayer life. Others still struggle with accepting Jesus as the son of God. St Paul talks about this in 1st Corinthians 3:1-3a

”But I, brethren, could not address you as spiritual men, but as men of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even yet you are not ready, for you are still of the flesh. 1st Corinthians 3:1-3a (RSV Second Catholic edition)

Until everyone agrees to be on the same page spiritually, the group dynamics will not work. Thus as a facilitator, you must make sure that everyone is ready to go deeper. It is better to start too basic and then get complex.

4. Delegate Responsibility

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is a failure to delegate responsibility. Yet the group will die if nobody takes responsibility and the leader ends up leaving. I had this happen to one of my young adult groups. I had given roles, which people had reluctantly taken, but I failed to invest in those roles. When I moved to Connecticut for three months, the group died. People contribute to groups that matter to them and when they feel the can contribute.

5 . Plan with other groups

One thing I miss about Protestant churches is how small groups became large. Currently, I am a leader of a young adult small group at a local parish. At the introductory meeting, the young adult leader shared his vision. He envisioned having multiple groups throughout Hampton Roads. This was last year. Our group still meets bi-monthly. Yet we have never interacted with another group. It makes us feel disconnected and unsupported. In my Protestant church, we would meet weekly in a small group. Yet once a month all the small groups would get together. We would grab wings or go bowling. It helped remind us that we were a part of a much larger community.

I would like to see the local parish eventually figure this whole small group thing out. The relationships I have formed in those small groups have been valuable to my spiritual formation.