Mountain top experience, now what?

So for the gospel reading of August 6th, we have the story of the transfiguration. In this story, Jesus has chosen his closest followers to come with him and pray on a mountain. The gospel describes how Jesus’ appearance changes and he is dressed in dazzling white. Here for the first time the disciples’ are experiencing, not just Jesus the human being, but Jesus in his full glory. Every Christian and every Catholic also will eventually have a similar experience in which they experience the presence of Christ in a real and tangible way. For more info about this, see my blog post, Have you had a transformation experience? What happens afterwords? How should we respond? Why do we have such experiences in the first place?
All these questions can be answered by looking at Luke 9:33-35. Having experienced Jesus in his fully glory, Peter exclaims, “Master, it is good that we are here; let us make three tents, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”  It is so easy to make the same mistake as Peter. We  can have  an amazing Godly experience and want to stay there forever. We want to pitch our tent. Every time we pray, go to mass or adoration or listen to music, we expect God to speak to us in the same way, to have the same emotional high.
I am guilty of this way of thinking. I remember when I first started taking my Christian walk seriously. The churches I attended were mainly non-denominational churches and sometimes my mother’s Baptist church, I remember watching other people have emotional responses to either the pastor’s sermon, the music, or a particular prayer and I wouldn’t feel anything and wouldn’t know how to respond. I took Spiritual formations at Regent University and there was a moment where the whole room erupted in spontaneous praise, and I did not know what to do. I felt like my faith was somehow inferior because I lacked these emotional responses. Luckily I have the type of personality that doesn’t renege on her commitments and I had made a commitment to follow Jesus.
Finally a member of my spiritual formation small group invited me to her very large non-denominational church. I don’t know what made that night different or why God decided to speak to me, but I finally had that mountain top experience. For awhile I would chase after these emotional highs, and only attend non-denominational or pentecostal services. I evaluated my relationship with Christ with how on fire I was about my faith. Just ask my parents lol, I couldn’t do anything that wasn’t Christian minded. Eventually though I couldn’t keep up especially after becoming Catholic. My Mom remarked that she was glad that the Catholic church has mellowed me out, but it wasn’t just a mellowing, I was becoming cold and dead. So where did I go wrong?
After Peter makes his statement about pitching a tent, God speaks up in verse 35, “This is my chosen son; listen to Him.” God gives us these amazing experiences, but he doesn’t want us to seek after these experiences, He wants us to seek after Him and obey Him. So If you are lucky enough to have one of these transformation or mountain top experiences, learn from Peter, don’t try to pitch a tent there. First of all, it is exhausting to be spiritually high all the time, and secondly we have all of  heaven to have these amazing experiences with God. Instead strive to obey God; don’t go back to the way you were before. If you have not had such an experience, try to persevere in obedience for surely by your obedience you will encounter God. Take advantage of all the different ways one can encounter God in the Catholic Church.
As for me, I am trying to develop Godly habits such as daily prayer, daily scripture reading, and going to Mass and adoration when I can.
A quote from my  Holy Spirit devotion book is really insightful, ” The Spirit reveals the glory of God to us in those moments when we transcend our daily life and catch a glimpse of the grander and Holiness of God. These moments gives us the strength to walk the difficult path of daily life.”
My prayer for you all is the same as in the book, “unfold the veil for a moment, Lord and let us see Your glory.”

Patience like a banana?

I’ll never forget, during the life in the Spirit seminar, when Father Dave Pivonka compared patience to a banana, because both go bad so quickly. In a way, it is true. I never feel like I have enough patience. One minute I am responding brilliantly to a crisis, and the next minute I am frustrated and venting with everyone I see. What throws me off my game? The answer is simple; other people and my inability to control them. It seems I have adapted the uncanny ability to accept unforeseen circumstances provided that it is no ones fault, but the minute something goes wrong and it was someone’s responsibility, then I become frustrated. I know that I am not alone in this. Most of my friends are having their patience tested in one way or another. God’s ways are not our ways. Instant gratification typically doesn’t happen with God; he’d rather test our faith and trust. Never has this point been made clearer, then in August 3rd’s daily mass reading. I must admit that my eyes had not been open until attending mass and listening to Father Charles’ homily.
The Old testament reading for that day was Jeremiah 31:1-7. According to Father Charles, Jeremiah is prophesying that the lost remnant of Israel will be found. Father Charles explains that in a literal sense this prophecy never came to pass and that the remnant of Israel lost in exile would remain lost. However, in that day’s gospel, we can see that the prophecy figuratively came true trough the person of Jesus Christ. In Matthew 15: 21, we are told that Jesus is traveling through the areas of Tyre and Sidon. Father Charles points out that this is the area where the lost tribes of Israel would have relocated. This helps explain Jesus’ statement in verse 24. He says, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” We can also see that this is no ordinary pagan woman. In verse 22, she refers to Jesus as the son of David. This shows that she has some familiarity with the Jewish religion. This is not enough for Jesus, who rebukes her by saying, “it is not right to take food away from the children and throw it to the dogs.” (Matthew 15:26). This line always confused me because I failed to understand the symbolism behind it. However, coupled with Jeremiah it makes sense. The tribes of Israel, who had managed to survive the exile would have considered themselves God’s chosen people. Over time when Jeremiah’s prophecy had failed to come to pass, they would have considered the lost tribes as inferior. Hence the reason why Jesus refers to the woman as a dog. He  is essentially testing her ability to be persistent. She remains humble and acknowledges  that she is not equal with the children of Israel, but that even she deserves the leftovers (verse 27). It is with this proclamation of faith that Jesus agrees to heal her child and in turn begins the reconciliation process that was foretold in Jeremiah. It is important to note that between Jeremiah’s prophecy and Jesus’ ministry was 600 years.
The point is that God gave the Israelites a vision in which the lost would be restored. It was their job to trust that God would be faithful. However, I don’t blame the Israelites for losing patience, because I know that I could not have maintained my patience for over 600 years. Yet it is not just patience that we need. From the woman we learn that in order to withstand God’s rebukes, we need to be humble, trusting and persistent. So if God has given you a vision, stay humble, be persistent in prayer, trust that God will bring it through, and have patience in God’s timing.  Also remember that God can use other people to rebuke us and that he is waiting to see how we respond. Lastly I am thankful for Daily Mass in which my eyes can be opened to the meaning behind God’s word for us.

Adoration: the treasure of the Catholic Church

I finally returned to the perpetual adoration chapel after a very prolonged absence. I honestly can’t explain why it took me so long to return. Perhaps it was arrogance or even ignorance in that I believed I didn’t need it. However, I was very much wrong. In this blog post, I’d like to share what adoration is and my journey towards adoration
For those who don’t know, Eucharistc adoration is defined as, “adoring or honouring the Eucharistic Presence of Christ. In a deeper sense, it involves “the contemplation of the Mystery of Christ truly present before us”.
There are different types of Eucharistic adorations:
1. Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament
This is a church service, where groups of people gather to adore the Eucharist. Like the Mass, it has it’s own unique stricture, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning is marked by the hymn  O Salutaris Hostia and the benediction ends with the hymn, Tantum Ergo, and the divine praises. The middle is the longest part and can be silent prayer or have music.
2. Holy hour
This is one an individual or group of people decide to pray in front of the sacrement for an hour of silent prayer
3. 40 hours
This is a special devotion, where the eucharist is exposed for 40 hours. For example, 3:00 PM Friday to 6:00 AM Sunday. In this devotion there are special rituals such as: reciting a sequence of an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory be 5 times — the last cycle being for the intentions of the Holy Father.
4. Perpetual Adoration
This is when the Eucharist is exposed 24/7 and people take turns being in the presence of Christ.

I truly believe that adoration is the treasure of the Catholic Church. From very awkward beginnings, I have learned to truly appreciate this special devotion and the power it has had in transforming my life. My first experience with adoration was awkward indeed in that I was not well prepared at all for the experience. I was not Catholic at the time. In fact, I was quite the opposite; I was pentecostal of the vineyard variety. So how did I end up at adoration? Well I had been talking to a very close Catholic friend about good preaching. I had asked him, who his favorite preachers where. He mentioned Father Mike Jolly from Saint Joan of Arc Church. I said that I’d be interested in hearing him preach, but didn’t want to go to Mass on Sunday. He invited me to adoration that was geared towards Youth and Young Adults. Later I would know it as a benediction service. Unfortunately the priest was not holding the service that night. This was of course disappointing, but since I was already on my way to the church, I decided to still attend. Turns out that since there was no priest, the service was very much striped down. I don’t remember much except feeling a bit bewildered. All the required hymns were in latin so of course I didn’t know them. Secondly it was silent prayer for an hour. I don’t recall up until that point ever praying silently for that long. I remember feeling very small, like a child. I kept getting distracted and looking around. I also felt different because everyone was kneeling, but I was not due to my disability. Yet in the mist of all these negative feelings, I definitely got a sense of sacredness and peace that was missing in my own church’s Young Adult service.
As a student working on my Masters in church history, I wanted to investigate the reasoning behind Eucharistic adoration. It is through this investigation that I read John 6:48-58. This is also known as the bread of life discourse, in which Jesus tells us that his flesh will be poured out for the whole world and that his flesh is real food and his blood is real drink. Furthermore, we must eat his flesh and drink his blood to have eternal life. I began to believe that this was a direct reference to the Eucharist and that the bread and wine was not just a mere symbol, but is literally transformed into the body and blood of Christ. Hence, I had began to accept the source and summit of the Catholic faith.
Having come to this revelation and not getting very convincing answers from my pastor, I began to explore the Catholic church in earnest. I had heard about Catholic underground, a ministry that offered benediction of the blessed sacrament and even though I wasn’t Catholic, I decided to attend. This was a much better experience than the first time. They had praise and worship music. I still didn’t know the latin hymns, but it put me at ease. I remember that I got the same peaceful feeling. It dawn on me that one doesn’t need artificial lights or a loud praise band to make an impact. While in my previous church I had always questioned my emotional response since the service was designed to elicit emotion, here I knew that my emotional response was authentic because the purpose of the service was to strictly praise Jesus.
While in the process of becoming Catholic, I joined 2096, a weekly adoration group at Saint Matthew’s Catholic church. It was here that I found the support and encouragement to continue my journey as well as meeting life long friends. Unfortunate 2096 would be disbanded and I would soon have to search for other avenues for adoration.
Having unfortunately lost my weekly adoration group, I was also in the process of reading Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly. This book was very impactful and one of the things it encouraged was holy hour devotion.  I had never done a holy hour, I had always done benediction with light contemplative music. I was nervous about the prospect of being alone with Jesus in silence for an hour. What do I talk about; what do I wear? Over the years I’ve found what works for me and what doesn’t and I know that it has helped my relationship with Jesus, but also the Catholic church.
I hope that my testimony encourages you to, not only seek out adoration for yourself, but encourage others, who might benefit from the peace that comes from being in the presence of Christ. It can be scary and challenging to sit in silence especially in today’s world of noise, but I promise you that you will have peace, a newfound respect for the Eucharist, and an increase in faith.

Have you had a transformational experience?

If you’ve ever taken the time to read the daily Mass reading on a consistent basis, you may have noticed that The Catholic church at least tries to organize the reading around a theme. For instance, for liturgical year C cycle II, the 16th Sunday in ordinary time, the readings were Genesis 18:1-10, Psalms 15:2-5, Colossians 1:24-28 and Luke 10:38-42 and for July 18th we have Micah 6:1-4, 6-8 and Matthew 12:38-42. In both Genesis 18:1-10 and Luke 10:38-42, we are presented with people,  who are trying to entertain an important guest. In Genesis, we have  Abraham, who is visited by three men. It is heavily implied that these men have been sent by the Lord. He invites his guest to rest while he prepares a meal for them. He quickly delegates various responsibilities to the different people in the household. After the meal has been prepared , Abraham sits with his guest and enjoys their company. The guest bless Abraham by saying that when they return his wife, Sarah will be pregnant with his child.
In Luke 10:38-42, we are presented with Mary and Martha. Martha, like Abraham, is entertaining an important guest, Jesus Christ. Martha is described as being distracted, anxious and worried about entertaining her guest. She wants her sister Mary to remove herself from the feet of Jesus and help her. Jesus rebukes her and states that Martha has chosen to worry about many things when only one thing is needed and that Mary has chosen the good portion. Why is it that Martha gets rebuked by Jesus for wanting to delegate her responsiblities and yet Abraham essentially does the same thing and gets a blessing?
The key has to do with resting and enjoying the moment. Abraham, unlike Martha, was not anxious, worried, or distracted. He served his guest while still managing to sit and listen to them. Paul tells us in the Colossians readings that we too can serve his church without anxiety or worry because of the mystery, which is that we have Christ in us.
So how do we practically go through life without anxiety and worry. Well in the mist of our serving, we need to have Mary moments, where we have a transformation experience with Jesus.  This brings me to July 18th’s gospel. In Matthew 12:38-42, Jesus rebukes the scribes, who ask for a sign. Jesus, in verse 42, mentions the queen of the south. He says, “At the judgment the queen of the south will arise with this generation and condemn it, because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and there is something greater than Solomon here.” Once again, Jesus is reminding us that he is the wisdom that we should seek. He is the Son of God. If we go out of our way, like the queen of the south did for man’s wisdom; how much more should we be willing to travel to experience the wisdom that comes from Christ? Unfortunately though, there are so many people, who have never been inwardly transformed by the wisdom of Christ, because for whatever reason we don’t rest in him.
I’ve had the joy of having a transformation experience. The best way to describe it is to use emotional language, but it isn’t really a feeling. It is an assurance deep inside yourself that there exist something greater than yourself; a sort of peace that passes all understanding. Suddenly a weight has been lifted and you feel free and you have no fear or worry. It is the place where the world disappears and you are alone, but yet not alone. it is in this place that you can feel God wrap his loving arms around you. It is not something that is limited to a one time experience, but rather it is an experience that we should carry with us everyday.
God’s mercies are new everyday and each day offers a new opportunity to go into that deep place, where you can taste heaven and feel yourself sitting at the feet of Jesus. God desires to share himself with you and he has gifted his church with numerous opportunities to experience him intimately. The first way is through the unbloody sacrifice of the mass, in which God represents himself in the form of bread and wine so that we may consume him and be one. The second way is through adoration in front of the consecrated bread. It is here that we have a direct line to experience the presence of Christ directly. I liken the difference to talking to your lover on the cell phone verses going on a date. While one can have intimacy over the phone, it is another level when you can be in the real presence of your lover. Similarly when we pray, we are talking to God on the cell phone, but when we pray in adoration, we are essentially going on a date with Jesus. Confession can also be a moment for transformation in which we feel God’s love through hearing the words, “you are forgiven.” Lastly sacramentals such as the rosary and praise and worship can offer opportunities to have a transformation experience. Ultimately each person is different and experiences God in different ways; however, we should always strive to rest in Christ and to be transformed by his presence, which is real and inviting.

False dichotomies

Loving the sinner versus holiness

So I’ve been wanting to talk about this issue since my first blog post. It seems that I can’t go a day without hearing some controversy regarding the proper application of Catholic teachings. This all started when Pope Francis released his apostolic exhortation, “the Joy of Love” in which he advocated mercy for those in irregular unions, by suggesting that they may partake in the sacraments of the church. It continues with more and more Catholic churches and Catholic individuals embracing the LGBT community. Here are a couple of examples:
https://www.facebook.com/ladygaga/photos/a.89179709573.79898.10376464573/10154330349204574/
In the first example, we have a Facebook post from Lady Gaga espousing her Catholic faith. She says that she was moved by the homily in which the priest reminded everyone that, “the Eucharist is not a prize for the perfect.” This is actually a misquote from Pope Francis’s Evangelii Gaudium, which states, “Eucharist “is not a prize for the perfect, but a powerful medicine and nourishment for the weak.” It is an interesting message from Lady Gaga as she has been an outspoken advocate for LGBT rights. In the second example, we have a story about the Philippines (a traditionally Catholic country) electing a transgendered individual. What does this mean? Is Pope Francis responsible for the watering down of Catholic values in favor of inclusivism and mercy? Is there room for mercy and love, while still respecting the universal call for holiness or must the Catholic church promote one over the other? Lastly, what does it mean to be an “LGBT” Catholic? I will strive to answer these questions.

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Peace be with you: what does it mean to have peace?

I attended daily mass Tuesday as part of Spirit and Truth. Father Daniel opened with an interesting question, “What are we worried about?” Some of the answers were failure, death, hurting others, and the state of society. Then Father Daniel asked, “what is the  peace Jesus promises to the disciples when he says, ‘Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.’?” I replied that, “it is a peace that passes understanding, a peace that transcends our surroundings, because we trust that Jesus will provide.” I was able to answer the question, because I’ve been lucky enough to experience this supernatural peace. Father Daniel challenged us to strive to carry this supernatural peace daily, My struggle is that even though I have experienced this peace, it has never lasted. I believe the peace stealer is either disappointment in oneself or disappointment in others.
Disappointment in oneself can be remedied by recognizing that we cannot disappoint God. He knows us intimately. He knows the number of hairs on our head. He is omniscient so he knows what we are going to do before we do it. Yet despite all of that, He still chose to die for us. God’s love is unconditional. This is the reality of Go’d’s love. By virtue of Baptism, we have been justified and sanctified. We are cleansed and have become new creations. We do nothing to earn this. Likewise, we cannot maintain it on our own; we need to rely on God, who doesn’t fail. So the next time we feel that we are a disappointment, or a failure, we can know that we haven’t lost the love of God and that we can trust  him to pick us back up. This truth leads to peace.
Disappointment in others can be a tricker situation. It comes from our need to feel accepted by others and our innate sense of righteousness. When we are rejected for whatever reason, we feel wronged. However, the reality is that we shouldn’t let others dictate our sense of worth nor should we feel the need to punish others for being equally broken people. The latter is what I struggle with; I want people to hold themselves to the same standards that I hold myself. However, God doesn’t do that with me. Imagine if God demanded that I meet his level of perfection. Luckily God doesn’t demand that of me. Yes, I know what you are thinking, “be perfect as my heavenly father is perfect.” This perfection is the result of cooperating with God, through the merits already won for us by Jesus Christ through his punishment on the cross. God doesn’t punish us for not being perfect; instead, He punishes Himself through Jesus Christ and in turn makes us perfect by our direct cooperation with Christ.  Thus if God doesn’t punish me for my imperfections, then who am I to punish others. Note that Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross does indeed remove the punishment of sin; however, in order for this to be effective , it must be applied through faith, charity, and the sacraments of the church. (For more information see Thomas Aquinas, summa theologica, tetria Pars, Q 49 article 3)
God wants us to have peace, which can only come from placing our faith, hope and trust in Jesus Christ. We should not allow disappointment to rob us of this peace. So the next time you are at Mass and hear the words, “peace be with you,” reflect on the peace that Christ wants to give you; a peace that passes all understanding.